Putting my money where my waist is

This week I am making a financial commitment to health. With no groceries the past week and subsisting on pseudo-food, I couldn't take it anymore and took a trip to Trader Joe's. I spent money on groceries, which is usually not in my budget, although dining out seems to have made it, and can actually visualize a successful week. Now all I need to do is go back to the gym, which I haven't been to in a week. Success seems very realistic this week. Must lose two pounds!! Will lose two pounds!!

All In Vain

I love reading magazine articles about people on some holy quest to lose weight. There is always some person who makes the following claim: "This is not about vanity, it's about health." I'm going to go a different route and be a little more truthful than they are willing to be. It is all about my vanity. The main reason I want to lose weight is for my looks, and health just happens to be a bonus. I grew up in a Filipino family, and culturally, Filipinos are pretty blunt, especially with matters concerning weight. My uncles especially find my fatness funny. My last trip to the Philippines was five years ago and my self-respect and confidence were bludgeoned to death with every wise-crack. (I was also thirty pounds lighter at the time and there is no way I could ever be dragged to the Philippines right now) So for me, losing weight has everything to do with my looks. I'd like to go home to the Philippines and not be told that my jumping into the pool would trigger a tsunami. I want my old jeans back, the cute ones I had three years ago that I had to put away. I want to feel what little confidence I had before I gained all my weight. Health is important somewhat, but I just want to be proud of the way I look, which I'm not now. I'm not saying that beauty is the most important thing, but I am saying that my self-perception is greatly altered by how I look. I hate self-absorbed people who rely solely on their looks. For me this kind of vanity is different. It's about pride. It's about being okay with my physical attributes. I guess it's about a kind of acceptance where I'm not simply resigned to who I am, but completely satisfied as well.

Happy New Year!

So, it is finally 2010!! I don't know what it is about humans and the need for a clean slate, but what is cleaner than a brand new year? I can erase all of last year and make this one the best one so far. I think I had a pretty good start so far with my one hour of cardio. It's time to make resolutions. As I was working out, I kept asking myself what I want to look like on my 25th birthday. Do I want to fit into my dress? (I bought one a few dress sizes smaller) My personal goal is to lose 40 pounds this year. I know I can do it, it's just a matter of acting on those thoughts. Here's to a good week so far... I wish everyone luck on this new year and on the resolutions that come with it!